I watched a program the other night "Born of two mothers" about two couples going for IVF whose embryos are mixed up. The black couples baby is born to the white couple. The program follows the court case while the baby lives with the white mother who gave birth to him. Then 10 months later the baby is moved to live with the genetic parents at the courts decision. All factors weighed up it was felt that the mental health of the baby was better served by the family where his culture and ethnicity could be understood.

I could not help but question the outcome of this thought-provoking program if both couples were the same colour and they could not therefore play the race card to make the final decision.

Thinking about it, I still agree that the baby really belongs to the parents who provided his genes.

As an adopted person I was shocked at myself. Really shocked. Was I saying that actually I should have been brought up by my birth parents? That actually they are the ones that I would have placed myself with had I had the choice 27 years ago?

In theory that is what I am saying. And this has shook me to the core.

Moving away from hypothetical ideas about having adult thoughts and decisions as a neonate, there is no way I would have placed myself with those people I hardly know in place of my family.

I feel lucky and privileged to have had this upbringing. But I can't get out of my head that I wouldn't have chosen it.

Born of Two Mothers - December 07, 2009
Academic Angst - July 14, 2009
A Squooshin' - June 25, 2009
Emerging from a Black Cloud - June 22, 2009
Neighbours who know everything - May 21, 2009